Monday, April 4, 2011

No Need to Get Cranky

So, I actually got a comment on my last post. I can't get "copy and paste" to work, but you can go back to the last post and read it yourself. I've got it in a window so I can comment along... "Yu know those ebil monitors you and your ilk go on about--they would have detected a problem". Not necessarily. My last two births were monitor-free, so, Mother X, you can't assume she would have had a monitor on. Having an "ebil" (LOL, I think she means 'evil') monitor on probably did save my son's life, so to say I think they are 'ebil' just shows that you're here to troll and create controversy, because obviously you haven't read my birth stories! LOL. So, no feathers ruffled here (and gah, "ebil" is used more than once, and who is "your ilk"?). Monitors can be a very useful tool, but they are also over-used and studies have shown that they have probably led to more c-sections than were necessary due to poor readings and impatient doctors. If the labour is progressing normally, there is no reason to use a monitor continuously, and intermittent use doesn't always co-incide with when there is trouble happening. So, Mother X, to assume that being in a hospital would have prevented the death, shows that you have blinders on. Babies DO die in the hospital. "...people like you who refuse to see the benefit of medicine..." Oh, get real, LOL. Once again, her ignorance is showing. I have open files at 3 different medical doctors currently--cardiologist, endocrinologist, and family doctor. I used to have an OB/GYN and an internist before we moved. To say that I don't see the benefit of medicine would imply that I should have "let" my father die after his heart attack, or that I should ignore my hypertension, or that I should just suffer the consequences of Hashimotos Disease rather than seek MEDICAL attention. LOL. The woman wasn't having a home birth because she valued the "story" of her birth more than the health of her baby. She had a homebirth because for most of the world, it is the safe, normal, natural way to give birth. She had no indications that there would be trouble. Some women are willing to trust birth and accept any risks because they know the chances are so remote that there will be a problem. Other women won't accept even the slightest risk and feel that a hospital is the best choice (although it should always be noted that a hospital is NOT fail-safe). No woman should be insulted, belittled, or interrogated because of whichever choice she makes. Especially not a woman who has just suffered a loss like this. And, for what it's worth, I didn't SAY that Dr. Amy said that the mother had turned the birth/death into a spiritual event, I said that the mother had said that and Dr Amy interpreted it (to suit herself). So, my final comment still holds true. How is Dr Amy's post going to help the mother deal with her grief? How does it even further her "birth is a medical crisis" ideology? It's not about home birth vs hospital birth, Mother X totally missed that. The woman could have had (and many do) the EXACT same feelings about her son's death, no matter WHERE THE BABY WAS BORN.

1 comment:

Charmaine said...

Was that Elmer Fudd commenting :)
I would just like to say that every mother is the star of her child's birth (well, maybe best supporting actress as the child ends up being the star)

I had midwives for DD#1. My family doctor recommended a hospital birth since when things go wrong they go wrong fast. Of course, she went on to add, that doesn't mean that in the hospital you are guaranteed that if something goes wrong you will get a happy ending either.

I haven't read the post/blog about the woman and her loss, but I totally agree with you. We finds ways to validate our feelings and justify losses. Each of us does this in our own way. Until we are put through a situation, we can never know how we will react or what feelings we will experience. Healing from the loss of a child is a process I have been fortunate to not have experienced (other than a miscarriage, which was upsetting enough). I've witnessed friends go through it and wouldn't wish it on anyone.